Creating A Maiko

RIPGM

2009-12-24T17:46:32Z

RIP, George Michael. You were the only sportscaster I could stand listening to on a regular basis.

Merry Christmas, Politics!

2009-12-23T20:24:09Z

It's noon at work, and I have spent almost the entire day so far watching Metal Gear Solid bloopers. This is the true meaning of Holiday Bonus.

What's not such a bonus is the health care bill situation. You would think that with as much of a trooper and cheer leader for health care reform as I have been that I would be overjoyed that the Senate takes up a final vote on it tomorrow, on the oh so symbolic date of Christmas Eve. I know that my political rants turn most people off and send them scurrying to the next LJ post, so I included meme pictures in this one.

What we have here folks, is something worse than what I thought was the worst case scenario, that being no health care reform at all. What this bill is is nothing less than a bailout for the health care industry. It's the worst of all possible worlds - not only does it not establish a public option like every other sane nation on this planet has, it does nothing to increase competition in the health care industry thus keeping prices right where they are, and worst of all it compels every working American to get said expensive health care or face penalties for not doing so! It restricts health care companies from denying based on preexisting conditions, but not until 2014. What are we supposed to do until then? Oh, right. The same thing we've been doing up to now - hoping we don't get sick.

Almost as bad as this complete sick mutation of what this bill has become, is what it represents in our leadership. The Democratic Senate has shown that it has all the political savvy and muscle of a middle school class president. They appease Lieberman earlier in the year by not taking away any of his commit e ranking despite his support for Mccain in the election and his continued stonewalling of progressive policies. They do this so that he will play ball later down the line when a really important issue comes up. OH WAIT- Yeah, way to leverage your political capital there, Reid.

There is almost no way for this to come out well for the Democrats in 2012 or even 2010. If the bill passes as is, there's enough time between now and them for the general (*cough* sheep) public to be shown by the right wing pundits how terrible this bill is going to be for their taxes. If it fails to pass, it gives opponents on the campaign trail more than enough ammo to fire the "do nothing" label at incumbents. Face it: no matter what else gets passed in the next year, health care reform is still going to be the biggest issue that this congress will take up in Obama's first term, and it's going to be the biggest black eye as well.

And where does that leave our president? I can't decide really what happened here as far as presidential leadership went. You can't fault him for trying to learn from president Clinton's mistakes (no, not THAT mistake), I just think he learned them too well. When Clinton tried to pass health care reform in 1992, he made the mistake of crafting the bill himself (well, you know, his people and what not) and then ramming it down the throats of a suddenly nervous congress. Obama avoided this mistake by having all the legislature be created by allies in congress, but his hands off approach to the bill has resulted in a perceived void of leadership from the White House on the issue and opened up the door for Palin and her "death panels" to dominate the public debate. This resulted as well all know in town halls that were more like lynch mobs and a congress that was spending half its time fighting distractions instead of crafting a bill. True, in recent weeks Obama's been on the case, pushing for senators to get off their asses and make something happen, but I feel it's just been too little, too late. The whole distraction of climate change legislation (an issue which in any other year I would have said should be priority #1) and the Nobel prize award (not his fault, I know, but still there) only served to complicate things. And to be quite frank, I think when Joe Lieberman hears Obama talk about how he wants a bill passed by the end of the year, he's thinking to himself, "Whatever darky. I've got 40 friends sitting right over here who are gonna back me up when the next election comes around as long as I keep sucking them off."

Not all hope is lost. Even if (as it looks like it will) this Senate bill passes in its current form, there is still the daunting task of combining the (sane) House and Senate bills. We can only hope that Pelosi > Reid when it comes to leadership. I'm not holding my breath. I have a bad feeling that the public option, the most important reform in these bills, is simply not going to fly with only a slight majority of Democrats in the senate, and with even some of them gun-shy about it. Beyond that, it could be years or decades until a new bill with a public option comes to light, especially if 2012 is as catastrophic for Democrats as it has the potential to be.

I have a bad feeling it's too late, but I'm psychically begging, pleading with the Senate leadership - Don't let the public option die. Don't turn this bill which was supposed to make things better for un and underinsured Americans into a bottomless basket of money for the insurance companies to reach into. Please: kill this bill, or pass the House version instead.

Football? In MY Blog??? It's More Common Than You Think.

2009-12-22T05:10:36Z

Dear Redskins Fans:

I feel your pain. I feel it, and god knows I enjoy every last second of it. Your tears of defeat are like manna to my small, twisted heart.

Dear Giants Team:

If your defense was as good as your offense, you'd be in the Super Bowl. As it is, thanks for giving me and MJ a good date night. (:

Love;
Me.

Domestic Chores: Codename METAL GEAR

2009-12-21T21:39:58Z

Me and my brother are discussing Metal Gear Solid 3, which I have just finished watching a play-through of...

Danny:
It makes more sense in MGS4. Sort of. Just be ready for 600 plot twists thrown at you ever step of the way.
MGS3 is nice because it actually is pretty straight forward.
Me:
Oh god. I was just starting to enjoy the relative simplicity of this plot. (:
Me:
I start to go into convulsions when I hear the word "Triple Cross"
Me:
I bet Kojima can't go to the bathroom without telling his wife he's going to the kitchen.
Danny:
I wonder if his wife would be like, 'going to the kitchen? NEW METAL GEAR GAME?'

Call mr. Plow

2009-12-20T23:07:28Z

Germantown streets = plowed.
Crystal city streets = not plowed.
WTG Virginia.

By the way, you're welcome Charlene. (:

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2009-12-19T22:52:15Z

In hindsight, walking to the grocery store in near-blizzard conditions was a mistake. But a fun mistake!

And now I have decided tonight is a very good night indeed to get drunk and play Street Fighter 4.

COLD!

2009-12-18T14:47:51Z

Brr! It's cold in here!
There must be some MJs in the atmosphere!
- MJ, Poet Lauriet of Montgomery County, every time we step outside.

It IS cold.

Audience: How cold is it??

Shut the fuck up. It's cold. It's cold enough that this morning when I first turned on the car, the LCD display indicating whether I was using battery or charging battery (hybrids represent!) was sluggish, taking about a second for the bars in the meter to fade in and out. That's right. It's so cold out there that the actual crystals in my Liquid Crystal Display have to melt before they can rearrange themselves for my amusement and driving smugness. It makes me wonder what people with LCD displays in actual important parts (say, the speedometer) do when we get to this time of year. Live in Florida? Own cars with better heating systems?

I can't complain. This time last year I was driving in a car with NO heat, thanks to a fairly common failure of the heating core which would have cost me several hundred not-in-possession-of dollars to fix. Ah well. Anything's better than taking the bus. Public transportation may be fine for some and it might be a way to save the planet. But until they can make it run on my schedule and not subject me to sitting next to some smelly fuck, I'll keep driving.

Progress, my friends. We are making progress. Two years ago, I rode the bus. Last year I was in an unheated 98 Taurus. This year, an 05 Civic Hybrid. Next year? Solid gold hovercraft. BAM, said the commuter.

It's The Most (Usually) Wonderful Time Of The Year!

2009-12-17T17:00:09Z

I feel so good right now. I don't know why it is, but ingesting large amounts of caffeine not only wakes you up in the morning, it also gets rid of that extremely irritating "sore eye" feeling. Could it all be psychological? Hmm... off to Wikipedia I go...

I have decided that Five Guys Burgers is public enemy number one for me eating healthy. Their burgers are almost as caloric as a Ledo pizza, but have more fat and unlike a pizza, you can't eat half for lunch and half for dinner. Well, I mean I guess you could, but you'd get some funny looks, putting half a burger in the fridge. Weirdo. In any case, people tell me I shouldn't focus so much on keeping track of calories, but I think it's valuable to do so, if for no other reason than you can be forced to realize just how bad that food you used to love is for you. <sniff> I do love you so Ledo pizza, even if you do constistantly send me to the bathroom...

Hey! Did anyone else go to the Rifftrax Holiday show? I will never ever be able to watch Rudolph and Santa again without wondering what's going on behind the scenes... The AMC at Mazza gallery is such an awesome theater, despite the fact that tickets were $13 each and parking was $5. Of all the theaters I've been to around here, they're the only one that says "stadium seating" and means seating that makes you feel like you are in a stadium. And if you go into one of the smaller theaters? Leather seats. Makes you feel all indi and high class. Best movie theater in DC, no doubt.

New Phrases To Incorporate Into Your Daily Speech

2009-12-17T13:39:51Z

Cool expressions I have heard lately:

"They are a rolling ball of butcher knives."
-Brandon Nobel referring to the Saints.

"Don't be a little pregnant."
-D'lo Brown talking about commitment to an idea.

Stupid Pizza

2009-12-15T19:10:01Z

Already over my daily calorie count and I'm starving. What's wrong with my body? Does it seriously hate me so much that it wants me to be pudgy for the rest of my life? Does it realize I'm getting over my fear of failure and it's looking for other ways of ensuring a life time of mediocrity? ARGH. Stop. Eating. You. Fat. Fuck.

In other news, there's something wrong with me. Something else, I mean. I have a 24" iMac in my office, and the only thing it does is display the Word Of The Day screensaver. Wonder twin powers activate! Form of... a walrus! Brain of... a slug!

It's just one of those self-pity days, that's all.

It's A Hard Knock Life.

2009-12-14T19:54:18Z

Paying bills... ugh... I am such a terrible procrastinator. It's ridiculous that making the kind of decent money I do that I have to live paycheck to paycheck. Oh well, hopefully things will get better once MJ starts school.

I spent my lunch break eating a sub, stretched out in my car in a park. Never let it be said that I would waste a nice day in the middle of winter. Now I just wish I hadn't already eaten my daily allotment of calories by lunch... Man, losing weight is hard!

That's My Life In A Nutshell

2009-12-12T16:36:00Z

Ahh, the miracle of modern technology. Start the day with no Christmas music, end the day with a torrent titled, "40 Christmas Albums". On a related note:

Teacher: Class, define, "strange contrast".

Little Mike: Umm... "Listening to The Carpenters while watching porn in the background?

Teacher: That's right. Very good, little Mike.

I grew up in a very strange educational system.

Number One, To The Bridge!

2009-12-08T20:21:49Z

Today (busy day, you can tell) I watched Encounter At Farpoint. Yeah, I know. It's sad that a geek as old as me has never seen that before. Listen, when I was growing up, in the place I was growing up, we had a HUGE antenna. Like 30 feet tall. But through a quirk of radio waves, we could only pick up 4 stations regularly, and non of them deigned to show TNG during its original run. So as much as I wanted to see it, I was stuck most of the time with Doctor Who on PBS. (not that I minded that, of course. Still love you Tom Baker, no matter how insane you may be now)

So my observations as a first time watcher, which most of you will probably consider hilariously uninformed:
It's amazing how Patrick Stewart, as opposed to pretty much everyone else on the show, pretty much looks the same here as he does now.
Q seems very snobby. Very, "Daddy wouldn't buy me a pony, so now I'm pissed at the universe." Also, I kept trying to remember where I had heard that voice before. It was Planescape: Torment. Of course. Only played that game like 5 times through.
I always thought this growing up, but now I am sure of it: La Forge's visor had to have been a banana clip painted gold.
Oh my, that Riker was quite the smooth shaven hunk of man, wasn't he?
Marina Sirtis: I'd have hit it then, and I'd hit it now. (Uh, in theory, I mean. I was only 9 when the show originally aired.)

Speaking of visors, is anyone still looking for a Christmas gift for me?

In other news, I don't really believe much in the mystical world, but a recent event has made me wonder if I am an energy vampire... Or a battery or something.

Aaaaand there go my nipples again...

2009-12-07T17:25:19Z

As part of a cost cutting move, I have been "loaned out" to the other building here at the headquarters. I have been trapped inside an AV server room for the better part of this morning. It is freezing in here. My nipples are so cold they could cut glass. WHY YES THIS IS THE KIND OF INSIDE INFORMATION YOU READ THIS BLOG FOR.

I hate to admit it, but I'm beginning to understand beaurocracy. Having people you don't like or don't know e-mailing you trying to get preferential treatment grinds on you after a while. I think all bureaucracy stems from a general hatred of humanity. In this respect, it's a lot like summoning the undead: it brings more evil and negative energy into the world, but for a completely understandable reason.

Hagerstown Is- Eh, Never Mind.

2009-12-02T15:06:16Z

I am a professional. Even when installing a computer for 2 and a half hours, sitting in a room with pictures of the guy posing with President Bush and Fox news blaring on his TV. I... Am... A... Professional...

In other news: eat your heart out, redneck women.

I'm So Quick Witted

2009-12-01T20:40:38Z

I don't know why Victor is messing with my tickets. He knows about as much about tech support as he does personal hygiene.

Damn it! That's what I should have said. Oh well, I do like my job after all, I suppose it's for the best.

In other news, in honor of my new favorite game, I'm going to end all my posts with Rufus win quotes from now on.

My old lady, she wants to get a cat, but I’m like “No way, babe!” I mean, those things just meow and meow all day, ya know? How you s’possed to get to sleep with all that racket? Cat’s are cute an’ all, but I gotta be able to hear myself think! So…
-Rufus Vs. Blanka

Run run Brrr run run

2009-12-01T04:34:51Z

Tonight was NOT the night to go jogging. Brrrr! But no scrub is going to beat me at... But I digress.

I managed to sustain 5 minutes of jogging without a break! That may not sound like a lot, but it's working up to my goal and for me, it's exceptional. A 14 minute mile is the best I've done in my life so far. (:

There's more to jogging than just cardiovascular goals or excersize, though. Jogging through this neighborhood. Wearing my sweatshirt pumping my fists in the air, singing along to Mr. Wonderful. This is my town again. I'm not afraid any longer.

I Survived Ninjas!

2009-11-30T03:40:17Z

So... Random thoughts on Ninja Assassin.

That wasn't at all the worst movie I've ever seen. It reminded me a lot of those old American Ninja movies from the 80s (in terms of cheese). Except this one would have been titled Korean Ninja.
Come to think of it, this was like a lot of movies from the 80s...
I really liked all the parts where people weren't talking. Those were good.
Also, the sound the shurikans made was really cool.
Ninjas are apparently very good at fighting guys with guns. UNLESS in the presence of strong light! Ninjas are like Mogwai! Bright light! Bright light!
Apparently the guy who choreographed the car fight scene was the same guy responsible for the Borne Supremacy.
I could not have laughed harder at the twist at the end with the black chick. Oh god. Look, it might have been a good idea if it didn't rely on a pun, and hadn't already been done before IN THE SAME MOVIE.
Thank goodness for MJ. If she hadn't been sitting next to me and MST3King the thing with me the whole time, I'm not sure what I would have done.
MJ: I'm back from the bathroom! What did I miss? Me: Guess who's coming to get this guy? MJ: Who? Me: NINJAS! MJ: Really? Me: Of course! 'What did I miss?' What do you think you missed? You missed freakin' ninjas!

Ninja Cliches Checklist: Go!
1. Ancient master with mythical powers who is more powerful than any of his students despite being like 100 years old. (loses points for not having a white beard, though)
2. Student who can barely handle one ninja on his own, but can take on 30 of them with no problem. (Ninja flunkies, perhaps?)
3. Ninjas can move in the shadows. No, really. Literately, they come right the fuck out of them.
4. Ninjas can dodge bullets.
5. Ninjas can fight blind.
6. Ninjas loose the ones they love.
7. Final battle in a burning building.
Catbug keeps trying to sniff my armpit. What a weirdo. That wasn't so much a note about Korean Ninja as it was just a general note about life.

What?

2009-11-29T19:04:19Z

Looks like I'm going to see Ninja Assassin today. I sure hope MJ wants to be the designated driver, cause I'm gonna have to get good and liquored up here, folks.

BAM Said The Shopper

2009-11-27T08:32:34Z

3 and a half hours later... it is done. Let the holliday destressing begin.

Da da da dun da dunnnn! Chaaaaaaaarge it!

2009-11-27T05:12:35Z

My direct deposit has gone through! Let the holliday madness begin!!

OLD SCHOOL

2009-11-26T17:28:49Z

It should be illegal to rhyme "Kiss me" with "frisbie".

In other news, have a drama free Thanksgiving, folks.

Hood

2009-11-25T16:43:42Z

Currently sitting in Hood. Feels strangely like being back at the scene of the crime.

Looking around this lounge makes me feel guilty. I wonder how many credits I was short before I dropped out of fcc. Makes me wonder if it wouldn't be worth it to go back.

I miss those days when all I had to worry about was homework and essays. And girls of course. Mostly girls. Maybe I don't miss it so much.

Fat Fat

2009-11-23T20:38:05Z

It used to be newspapers had to worry about inappropriate article slugs getting leaked. Now it's accidentally inappropriate URLs:

Stupid fat, dead humans.

In other news, OMG TRENT REZNOR GOT MARRIED AND MY HEART IS NOW BROKEN!! ):

Ufc 106

2009-11-22T03:44:38Z

In the industry, they calls this liveblogging...

Live from... Hooters! Its me watching UFC 106!

1. Well, there goes my perfect night. Thanks a lot, Phil "the human punching bag" Baroni. 0-1.

2. Little Nog by decision.

Wow okay, definately not a dec, but a win's a win, right? I'm not complaining. Neither is Nog, no doubt. Ouch. 1-1.

3. Apparently, good entry music is not enough to win a fight. Thiago wins by boring his opponent to death. Shhesh. 1-2. Btw, love those black gloves, refs. VERY stylish.

4. Johnson by virtue of the fact that he is not Koscheck.

JESUS. Well, I guess one blatant cheat cancels the other, so I can't be too pissed at the end here. That was the dirtiest fight I've seen in forever. 1-3.

5. Griffin. But if he loses, he is off my "never root against" list.

YES! (: I think he won all three, even though just barely on the first two. What happened at the end Ortiz? Oh well, sucks to be you! 2-3. Haha. Apparently Ortiz wants to fight the entire crowd.

Ouch. 2-3. Not good, but still not the worst ever. Glad I didn't put money on this night, well, except for paying for MJ's martinis. (: